Internship at a B school is supposed to be a period where you implement ,what you have learned in the classrooms, in the outside world... Its been a month into my internship and m still learning, m still learning different routes to reach from NITIE campus to IDBI ofc in parel, m still learning innovative ways to sleep at my desk post lunch, M still learning what to do to prevent your body from freezing coz its surrounded by highly efficient air conditioners from all 4 sides... oppsie sorry 5 sides, right over your head is another side. But all this is just one half of the learning, the other major half is "Do's and Donts of travelling in a mumbai local" and this post of mine is dedicated to the same!!!
For those who have not yet had an oppurtunity to travel in a mumbai local, you should realize, at the very outset, that mumbai local is a civilisation in itself. It is a greater economic force than capitalism , more powerful than any socio political movement that our great nation has ever witnessed, more immmense than any war involving US till date , bigger revolution than that happened in france( some revolution did happen in frace right?.. what the heck, you got an idea no )
This place has its own unconventionally conventional behaviours which are more of a survival strategy than of a accepted practise.E.g. if you want to get down at a station from the great local, your conventional wisdom would tell you to ask the person in front of you, "bhaisahab aap kanjurmarg utarenge kya? {assuming the name of the station is kanjurmarg and you come from indian hinterland} but to your amazement ,you wont get any reply, coz this is not the accepted behaviour at a local. All you need to do is just go very close to the person in front of you (Altough Mumbai local makes sure you remain "very close and connected" to the person at all times, its upto your judgement as to how more close can you get) and say in a monotonous, really heavy and dull and disintersted voice - "Kanjur" and you will notice that the person now is left with no option but to either nod his head in a yes or move his body away from your path to alight the great local.Speaking unnecessary long sentences is considered as a waste of energy and adding to noise pollution by the community of mumbai local commuters. However on the contrary, if you are standing at the platform of a station like dadar or kurla and a train approaches your platform , you are expected to speak the following words "oye oyee oyeeee" with increasing pitch as the train slows down to stop. Even if the trains and platforms are completely empty, you should still speak these words to express your enthusiasm at the arrival of the local at these great destinations. Speaking to strangers in a local is allowed but not to a special kind of traveller.This traveller will make his way through the heavily crowded local , to stand in the gaps left inbetween the legs of people who managed to get a seat. He will stand there for I dont know how long, with one hand holding the handle from the ceiling and the other, carrying his favourite book , at his favourite page. This guy, it seems has got special instructions from Mr obama to finish this book today itself.Anyways, the others sitting behind him are trying hard to look away from his ass and hoping that he doesnt fart.
I wonder to this day why people travelling in the mumbai local have saved "weird" names in the contact lists of their mobile phones, Names like "prince india", "chota lal" "raj and Raj", "madam pinky" {okay i dint peak in their phones, they were so close while using their phones, that even a guy with big spectacles like me could read it without any effort}. Anyways, I dont intend to solve this puzzle, all I intend to solve is , why all these people have a really characteristic "12 baje" look on their faces.It seems like all of them wished to board the ladies compartment but they were pushed into this compartment by the mob. Its is amazing what a mob can do in a mumbai local. It can give you a feeling of floating like water,the experience is unparallel and can not be easily replicated. You just float with all your brethren. You boarded the local from one end and within no time, without your awareness, you reach the other end of the local. It is at this point that you should wake up from this blissful experience and make an effort to stay inside local, otherwise you will fall flat on the rails at the other end.
I have still lot more to talk about the great local, but as happens with enclyclopedias, law journals, insurance policy forms and a management prof's ppts, it can not be contained in a single volume. Anyways, I will stop here for now.Till the time I write again.. Ciao .Salutes to the Great Local!!!
